MONTPELIER, VT – Embarrassed after he caught them in the middle of an ecstatic session of kinky sex, parents of 13-year-old Luke Da Silva warned him that despite what he might think based on the killer coitus he just witnessed, sex is rarely as fun as it looks like when they moan in pleasure while doing it rough and calling each other nasty names.
“It’s important for you to know that, frankly, sex is never ever going to be as fun for you as it is for us when I’m tying up your dad and telling him he’s been a bad boy”, said Meghan Da Silva to her confused and traumatized teenager, who up until then had just assumed his parents lived a sexless marriage.
“And you should know that if you have the same kinks as your dad, you’ll probably never find a woman who accepts it, and you’re likely to hide your shameful desires and live an unsatisfying sex life, despite the fact that I personally love calling your dad a slut while he wears a butt plug.”
At press time, Luke reportedly called his best friend to tell them his parents didn’t even know the first thing about bondage safety.
I can see this as a stage bit.